Rod Stewart calls off US tour after 'routine' heart procedure

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SO BASICALLY ROD STEWART WHO IS LIKE EIGHTY YEARS OLD AND STILL WEARING THOSE CRAZY LEOPARD PRINT PANTS HAD TO CANCEL HIS WHOLE US TOUR BECAUSE HE HAD TO GET SOME ROUTINE HEART PROCEDURE DONE WHICH IS CRAZY BECAUSE THE GUY HAS BEEN SMOKING AND DRINKING WHISKEY FOR DECADES AND NOW HIS TICKETS ARE WORTHLESS SO EVERYONE IS FREAKING OUT IN THE VIP LOUNGE AND I CAN BARELY HEAR YOU OVER THIS BASS DROP BUT ANYWAYS DO YOU WANT ANOTHER SHOT OF TEQUILA?

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