Privacy Policy

Last updated 12 August 2026

This policy explains what Club-Splaining News ("we", "us") collects when you visit https://albixhafa.com/news, why, and what rights you have. It is written to satisfy the EU and UK GDPR, the California Consumer Privacy Act as amended by the CPRA, Canada's PIPEDA, Brazil's LGPD and comparable regimes elsewhere.

Who is responsible

Albi Xhafa is the data controller for personal data processed through this site. Contact: you@albixhafa.com.

What we collect

There are no accounts, no logins, no advertising, and we neither sell nor share personal data. In normal use we process:

• Server logs. Our web server records the IP address, timestamp, requested URL, referrer and browser user-agent of each request. These keep the service running and secure, and are retained for no more than 30 days.
• Local storage on your device. Your category filter selection and, if applicable, your cookie choice are stored in your browser. They never reach our servers and we cannot read them.
• Analytics, only with consent. If analytics is enabled on this deployment, nothing analytical loads until you click "Accept analytics". Declining leaves the site fully functional.
• Email you send us. If you write to you@albixhafa.com we hold your message and address for as long as needed to answer you and to keep a record of the exchange.

Personal data inside published content

Items on this site are AI-generated satire about news headlines, and those headlines frequently name real people. Where that constitutes processing of personal data, we rely on the freedom of expression and information exemption (GDPR Article 85 and its national implementations) for journalistic, artistic and literary expression.

That exemption is not a licence to be inaccurate about you. If an item names you and is wrong, unfair, or implies conduct the source article does not report, write to us and we will correct or delete it, normally within a few business days. You do not need to invoke a legal basis or prove harm — asking is enough. See also Terms of Service.

Legal bases (GDPR Article 6)

• Legitimate interests — server logs, for security and reliability. You may object at any time.
• Consent — optional analytics. Withdrawable at any moment through "Cookie preferences" in the footer, as easily as it was given.
• Legitimate interests / freedom of expression — publishing commentary and parody about matters of public interest.
• Legitimate interests — replying to an email you chose to send.

Automated processing

An AI model writes the text on this site. It does not make any decision about you, does not profile visitors, and produces no legal or similarly significant effects on any individual within the meaning of GDPR Article 22. See How it works for the editorial controls applied to it.

Cookies and similar technologies

Strictly necessary and functional storage — your filter preference and your consent record — is exempt from consent requirements because it is set at your request and the site cannot remember your choices without it. Everything else is blocked until you opt in. Your choice is stored for 12 months, after which we ask again. Full detail on the Cookie Policy page.

Sharing and international transfers

We do not sell personal data, and we do not "share" it for cross-context behavioural advertising as those terms are defined under the CPRA. Limited processors support the service: our hosting provider, and — only after consent — an analytics provider where configured. Where data reaches a country without an adequacy decision, transfers rely on the European Commission's Standard Contractual Clauses.

Items link out to third-party news sites. Once you follow an outbound link you are on their property and their privacy policy applies, not ours.

Children

The site is intended for an adult general audience and we do not knowingly collect data from children under 16. If you believe a child has sent us personal data, contact us and we will delete it.

Your rights

Depending on where you live you may have the right to access, correct, delete, restrict or object to processing of your data; to receive it in portable form; to withdraw consent; to opt out of sale or sharing (we do neither); and not to be discriminated against for exercising any of these.

Write to you@albixhafa.com and we will respond within 30 days. EU and UK residents may also complain to their national supervisory authority; we would appreciate the chance to resolve matters first.

Security and retention

The site is served over HTTPS and access to the underlying server is restricted. We keep personal data only as long as the purpose requires — logs for up to 30 days, correspondence for up to 24 months. Published items are automatically deleted after seven days, apart from the most recent fifty. No system is perfectly secure and we cannot guarantee absolute security.

Changes

We will update this page when our practices change and revise the date above. Material changes affecting your rights will be signalled on the site.