Environment & Science

SO BASICALLY MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE SWARMING SPANISH CITIES RIGHT NOW JUST TO WATCH THE COUNTRY'S FIRST TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSE IN OVER A CENTURY WHERE THE MOON LITERALLY BLOCKS THE SUN COMPLETELY WHICH IS CRAZY BECAUSE SCIENTISTS SAY IT CAUSES A MASSIVE SUDDEN DROP IN TEMPERATURE AND DARKNESS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY SO NOW MILLIONS OF TOURISTS ARE JAMMING THE STREETS AND STARGAZING LIKE CRAZY JUST TO SEE THE SKY GO COMPLETELY BLACK. ANYWAYS DO YOU WANT ANOTHER SHOT OF TEQUILA?

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SO BASICALLY EVERYONE IS LOSING THEIR MINDS OVER THIS MASSIVE TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSE HAPPENING AUGUST TWELFTH TWENTY TWENTY SIX WHICH IS CRAZY BECAUSE THE MOON IS GOING TO COMPLETELY BLOCK OUT THE SUN OVER EUROPE AND PARTS OF GREENLAND AND ICELAND AND SCIENTISTS ARE FREAKING OUT ABOUT GETTING THE BEST DATA EVER ON THE SUNS CORONA AND MILLIONS OF TOURISTS ARE BOOKING FLIGHTS RIGHT NOW SO HOTELS ARE COSTING A FORTUNE SO NOW EVERYONE IS JUST TRYING TO FIND A DECENT PAIR OF ECLIPSE GLASSES BEFORE THEY GO BLIND. ANYWAYS DO YOU WANT ANOTHER SHOT?

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SO BASICALLY THERE IS THIS MASSIVE METEOR SHOWER HAPPENING THIS SUMMER WHICH PEAKS ON THE EXACT SAME DAY AS A FREAKING TOTAL SOLAR ECLIPSE AND SCIENTISTS ARE LOSING THEIR MINDS BECAUSE THE MOON IS GOING TO BLOCK THE SUN AND TURN DAY INTO NIGHT WHILE MILLIONS OF FALLING STARS ARE STREAKING ACROSS THE SKY AT THE EXACT SAME TIME WHICH NEVER HAPPENS AND IS CRAZY BECAUSE YOU CAN NORMALLY NEVER SEE METEORS DURING THE DAY SO NOW EVERYONE IS PACKING OUT INTO THE DESERT WITH BEERS TO WATCH THE END OF THE WORLD

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SO BASICALLY EVERYONE IS LOSING THEIR MINDS OVER THIS HUGE SOLAR ECLIPSE HAPPENING TOMORROW ON AUGUST TWELFTH TWENTY TWENTY SIX WHICH IS CRAZY BECAUSE SCIENTISTS HAVE BEEN TRACKING IT FOR YEARS AND PEOPLE ARE FLOCKING TO SPAIN AND ICELAND JUST TO WATCH THE MOON TOTALLY BLOCK THE SUN AND TURN DAY INTO NIGHT SO NOW TOURISM IS GOING INSANE AND HOTELS ARE COMPLETELY BOOKED OUT AND EVERYONE IS BUYING THOSE STUPID SPECIAL GLASSES AND YELLING OVER THE BASS. ANYWAYS DO YOU WANT ANOTHER DRINK?

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SO BASICALLY THERE IS THIS MASSIVE PERSEID METEOR SHOWER HAPPENING RIGHT NOW WHICH IS CRAZY BECAUSE IT HAPPENS EVERY SINGLE YEAR WHEN EARTH SMACKS RIGHT INTO THE DUST TRAIL OF THIS HUGE SWIFT-TUTTLE COMET AND SPACE ROCKS ARE JUST BURNING UP IN OUR ATMOSPHERE CREATING LIKE A HUNDRED SHOOTING STARS EVERY HOUR AND EVERYONE IS GOING OUTSIDE TO STARE AT THE SKY SO NOW YOU GOTTA GO OUT AFTER MIDNIGHT AND LOOK NORTH. ANYWAYS DO YOU WANT ANOTHER SHOT?

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SO BASICALLY THIS ASTRONOMER IN CALIFORNIA FIGURED OUT THE EXACT BEST HOUR WEDNESDAY TO WATCH THE MASSIVE PERSEIDS METEOR SHOWER PEAK WHICH IS CRAZY BECAUSE FALLING SPACE ROCKS ARE LITERALLY JUST CHUNKS OF DUST FROM SOME OLD COMET SMACKING INTO OUR ATMOSPHERE AT INSANE SPEEDS AND BURNING UP SO NOW EVERYONE IS TRYING TO ESCAPE THE CITY LIGHT POLLUTION TO STARE AT THE NIGHT SKY AND WISH UPON A FALLING STAR BEFORE THEY GO BACK INSIDE AND DRINK MORE WINE. ANYWAYS DO YOU WANT ANOTHER SHOT?

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